Nothing Profound

When I started this blog I made myself a goal to try and post at least once every month. If you look at the date of my last post, you'd see that I may have skipped a few. In my defense the past months have been extremely busy and pivotal for me. I started my first full-time job about a month ago. It truly has been surreal. For the first time since I moved out, thinking about my future hasn't filled me with a sickening dread. Along with that, a couple of days ago I was accepted into grad school. I've always been a person who feels guilty when things go my way, so I feel weird talking about this. I recognize that privilege and luck are on my side. But I do think it's important for me to be proud of myself, as hard as it is to admit.

The pressure regarding wirting in this blog has been getting to me. In my previous entries I have tried to center each one around a theme or a general takeaway. This has led to some scrapped entries that feel unauthentic due to me trying to force that. I operated on a "write when I feel inspired" basis before, so living up to my self-made standards became scary. The longer I went in between blogs, the bigger the pressure was for my return.

All I have been thinking about is how I have nothing profound to say lately. Which led me to realize that maybe I should write about nothing. At the end of the day, what is a blog other than a void to dump my thoughts out? If my thoughts are empty, then nothing falls out. Did I miss posting a blog for 2 months? Or did I avoid creating something that wasn't true to myself? Or am I just trying to cope with my lack of self-discipline? I think the answer is simply nothing profound at all.