Taking the First Step
It's all waiting there for you.
Before I moved out of my childhood home for college, I sat myself down and thought about the type of person I wanted to be. It was early spring, and my move-out date was fast approaching that summer. I was hit with the realization that I would not magically become the best version of myself by waiting around. The person I imagined myself to be was complicated and nuanced, which made it hard to find a place to start improving. But there was always an aspect of my future that seemed to float around in my little brain; I wanted to be a runner.
I had some running experience via high school sports, but I wouldn't consider that voluntary. That being said, my first run after I had this realization was a disaster. I did not even make it a mile. I was terribly out of shape. The idea of stepping out of my door for the first time and running was unbelievably uncomfortable to me at the time. But opening that door for myself is what led to me being able to complete my first half-marathon later that Fall.
Now, I am only one semester away from completing my college degree. Which means it is time to sit myself down again and figure out who I want to become. Throughout my life, I have had an obsession with creating. There is no better feeling than taking a step back and viewing a finished product that you are proud of. The pit of over-consumption is hard to avoid. Unfortunately, I have been stuck in that pit for a while. The vast majority of my recent creations have been for school or for work. I haven’t created for myself in a lengthy period of time. The past couple of years, my urge to create has manifested with the desire to write and to make music; two topics that I have next to zero experience in, but I feel it in my soul that they are how I should move forward.
So here we are. Congratulations! You are reading my first attempt at writing for myself. I’ve spent roughly a week pondering as to what my first blog article should be, and all I can think about is the pressure of doing something for the first time. Maybe I chose this topic so I could get the "first" out of the way and write without pressure. Maybe all that matters is that I am writing something at all. The truth is, I could sit and stare at this article forever and never feel perfectly satisfied with it. The fear of starting goes hand in hand with perfectionism. If you can get past the initial uncharted territory, it becomes easier to start charting it and eventually perfecting it (if that is your goal). My good friend Harry Styles reminded me recently that, “It’s all waiting there for you.”1 Everything you’ve dreamed of, and everything you have left to discover about yourself, is waiting for you. The only thing stopping you from reaching it is taking that first step.